My archives might be a little outdated especially the older blogs. My links above are all new and current.

I have only positive things to say about Permission to Mother, an autobiographical account of a thoughtful mother and clinician who courageously writes from her heart, soul, brain, and personal experience; who is open to change in her views and opinions and is not guided by the safety of rules of any group or the status quo; she is guided by love and openness to the experiences life brings her and her family. Her process benefits her and those around her and those who read her words. And to add to that, the writing style and story telling ability here make it a very enjoyable read speckled with both the humor and seriousness of life. ~Laura Keegan RN FNP, author of Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy

Readers enjoy your feedback and Reviews (82!) on amazon. Kindle Version Available!

Please Join me on Facebook at Punger Family Medicine.

Friday, November 7, 2008

How Long to Tandem Nurse? (a flashback)

This post is a part of Rockstar's Flashback Friday.

I wrote this seven years ago to my IBCLC, Jodi Smart, and dedicated this to her.

I am approaching almost three years of tandem nursing. It is really not unreasonable for someone to ask me, "How long will you nurse them?" My two boys love mama and her delicious milk and they are very persistent. I have tried to offer alternatives to breastfeeding...

"Do you want to breastfeed or go to the park?"
"We want to be two boys." (They call tandem nursing "being two boys")

"Let's go swimming."
"Can we have milkie in the bath?"

"Do you want candy?"
"No, we want to nurse."

"How about playing a video game?"
"Ok mom, but we want to nurse first."

"Do you want to watch a movie and cuddle?"
"We want night-nights and a movie, now."

"What is your dad doing?"
"Mom, we want night-nights right now!" (They start crying)

"Perhaps dad will let you drive the car."
(Instantly they stop crying and light up) "Let's go!" (They love to pretend they are like dad and sit in his seat and 'drive')

(Sigh) How long will I be tandem nursing? I've come to the conclusion I will be tandem nursing for 12 more years, since 'driving' is the only consistent distraction that works!


Trish Chibas said...

This is so cute! I have no idea how long I'm going to nurse Brianna for. I am constantly going back and forth with it. I think of Brianna wanting to nurse every time I nurse the baby and I get a little anxious. But then I think of weaning and I get extremely anxious. I've decided to just play it day by day. You posted this at the perfect time for me. Thank you!

pearly1979 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wife to the Rockstar said...

"being two boys"... TOO cute.

Great flashback.

Heather said...

You will find this probably shocking, but I wanted to nurse my daughters so badly, and I had no idea what to do. I could not make it work and the lactation specialist in the hospital got frustrated and told me to give up. A week later her pediatrician tried to help me and also told me to give up. With my 2nd daughter she was a preemie so they did not let me try to nurse her until she was home. I was pumping but never got anything. I saw a lactation specialist for 3 months after that, she finally told me I was insane and I needed to give up.

I am a foster mother now, usually to drug addicted infants, and I always have this crazy desire to nurse them. It is something I will always feel like I missed out on. =0(

Permission to Mother said...

Jodi would get a kick out of the fact that this is FINALLY classified under flashback.

Trish- Day-by-day is how I got through.

Sarah- It's hard to say if Cosette would have nursed straight through or if your pregnancy or other circumstances intervened. I often think that William would have weaned sooner if Scott wasn't competition and Scott would have weaned sooner if David wasn't at the breast. But now David seems to be still sucking strong (Does he get any milk milk?)and he is solo. He wil lnurse as long as the older boys.

Heather- thanks for sharing your situation. I can appreciate your maternal instinct to nourish your babies at the breast and why you would be so persistent.

When mother's have told me that they've tried everything including a consult with an experienced IBCLC, I often find things that haven't been tried... better pump, herbs, Domp, better nutriton, skin-to-skin (slings, co-sleeping, co-bathing), Supplementing at the breast with SNS or lact-aid and going to La Leche League meetings.

I wouldn't expect a pediatrician to know all this. Some IBCLC (did you have an IBCLC or CLC?)might not have the experience with this if they are post-partum IBCLC or in another specialty area, (and I might not know all that they do.)

I'm sure you did everything you knew to do, but I'd love to know how much of these suggestions the LC or ped suggested to you. Do you know adoptive mothers can induce. With fostering their are unfortunately legal barriers.

Christy ~ Munch75 said...

Great flashback, love the "being two boys" ... shows your nuturing was more important that almost everything else! What a great feeling that must be. :)

Natacha said...

What a great Picture of you and your boys! (So sweet)

The timing of this post is perfect too ( hitting another rough spot)

Love you Denise!!

Heather said...

Hi again,

Both of the lac specialists were employed by the hospitals. In the first situation, I moved 2 weeks after my daughter was born (500 miles). I was 23 and didn't know what to do in the new town as far as finding someone to help me. My mother bottle fed all of us because she said her doctor told her to "stop starving the babies" with her milk.

The second time, the specialist had no patience with me. She kept trying to talk me out of it the entire time. She told me I was too stressed from the premature birth. I think one of the only times I have felt hate in my life was when I was in the NICU and took in an empty bottle to the nurse after trying to double pump for half an hour...and I saw a mother of another baby walk in with sacks and sacks and sacks of mommy milk. I wanted to beat her down! LOL

It was a stressful situation because I felt like I was failing her! And because the pediatrician overdosed her with Propulsid 10x the dose and the nurse gave it to her 6 times before she realized there was an error. So of course with her having heart attacks, we were a little stressed out.

My good friend who is 10 years my junior and a doula CRIED when I told her I could not nurse and wanted to. Everytime I bring home a newborn (through foster care) I wake up from dreams I am nursing them. There are all those legal barriers you spoke of that restrict me. We do a lot of slinging and skin-to-skin with our babies.

Permission to Mother said...

Thanks for sharing your personal story.

My mentor Dr. Jack Newman (, says that there is more to breastfeeding than just the breastmilk.

Your intuition and instincts (and skin-to-skin and babywearing)with all your babies are invaluable. Those foster babies are blessed to have found your love.

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin
There was an error in this gadget